Thursday, July 25, 2013

You know you're the parent of a newborn when...

For those of you who already have kids out of the newborn stage, like me, I'm sure you've forgotten conveniently tucked these away in some remote portion of your brain by now. For those without kids, here's a little preview!

Here are some things that happen to your life when you have a newborn...welcome to my world!
  1. You wake up and look at yourself in the mirror and realize that last night's mascara looks good enough to intentionally not scrub around your eyes when you wash your face.
  2. You hear a baby crying (could be real, could be on TV) and immediately start bouncing and swaying back and forth.
  3. Your maternity shorts wont stay up and your regular shorts won't stay on.  You revert to work-out gear. At all times.
  4. You discover your innate ability to do all things with one-hand.  
  5. You realize that you've taken a daily five minute shower and a cup of coffee for granted your entire life.
  6. You've never cared so much about someone else's poop.
  7. You know the exact location of every squeaky board in your house.
  8. You forget what you were saying, mid sentence.
  9. You find yourself singing the songs that the bouncy chair plays all day.  Except that song doesn't have any words.  So, you make them up.  "Have you seen my iPhone?  It is lost! I can't find it..." 
  10. You realize that you can sleep almost anywhere.  Sitting and / or standing included.

The little bundle that makes this all possible...

Daddy enjoying his babies!


  1. You should sell the list to Letterman. I did laugh out loud.
    Do love the picture of Kyle and the kids.

  2. Ha!! Love it! All so true... Those stinking squeaky floors!

  3. Hahaha the mascara thing is so my life!! Still... Also, the squeaky boards with zach and that was on carpet that somehow would let a board underneath squeak through?! It was comical really. And lastly... Sweet baby's hair!!! And her perfectly tiny little face!! She is just perfect!

  4. Agree with Steven!! So hilarious!! You have a gift, my friend! Sweet babes :)