"The Time Cooper Went Home in Somebody Else's PJs"
"Porta Potty Seats are Round, not Oval"
Or, my favorite:
"There Isn't Enough Antibacterial Gel. In the World."
But, we'll get to that later. First let me tell you about Cooper's first trip to Aggieland!
We got to College Station with just enough time to stop by our friend's tailgate. We were immediately inundated with offers of BBQ, beer, sweets and more. Those Frosts, such a sweet bunch. Cooper was thrilled and dutifully accepted not one but two pieces of chocolate cake. You know, just to be polite.
We headed to the stadium for kick-off feeling optimistic that Cooper could ride his sugar high right through to halftime. He actually sat through the whole first quarter! Granted, he was in my seat and I was in Kyle's lap ("Get out of my seat, Mom!"), but hey, he was happy. He kept yelling "go Ags, go!" and "don't swip Johnny Football!"
I could tell in the second quarter he was getting antsy by the way he was hurdling the guy's leg next to us trying to get to the aisle. I decided to take him out to get a snack. He chose a Sno Cone and proceeded to drench it in about 18 different flavors before taking one bite, handing it back and saying "I don't wike this." Neat. So, we spent the better part of the second quarter doing this:
|Nothing cleaner than a college football stadium floor.|
I wrangled him back into the stadium just before halftime and he was able to see the mascot, Reveille, and also watch the Aggie Band march. This was by far the highlight of his trip!
After halftime I pulled the plug and hauled my 35 pound
load of bricks boy clear across campus back to the tailgate. Here's where things got a little messy...literally.
If you don't want to hear potty talk, please skip the next few paragraphs!
We got back to the tailgate and Cooper informed me that he had to pee pee. No problem. I saw a nice cluster of trees 20 yards away and we were off. About halfway there, he stopped in his tracks, tears streaming down his face as he told me:
"I. HAVE. TO. POOP!"
Oh geez. I scooped him up and ran to the nearest porta potty. We got inside, wiped everything as best I could with a wet wipe, put him on the seat and prayed for the best. What I got was something less. You see, the thing about skinny little kids with pants around their ankles is that their little tushies are far too small to sit on a seat that is round (not oval) without the serious risk of falling in. I quickly yanked him and took his shoe off so I could get one pant leg off.
So there we were. Cooper was half naked and barefoot doing his business in a porta potty and I'm sweating and cringing with every new place he decided to put his hand. At one point we were walked in on and I vigorously waved a speechless college student away. That's an image he won't soon forget.
Just when I think things are wrapping up, Cooper asks me:
"Mom, is this a water potty?" Um, no? Again: "Mom, is this a water potty?" No! What's a water potty? "The water is splashing up on my tush!"
Oh God. Oh no.
This is how Cooper ended up naked outside of Reed Arena being wiped down by his Mom with a wet wipe. As if this wasn't enough, about 10 minutes later he slipped and fell in a mud puddle and ended up soaked. And that's how Cooper ended up going home in some other kid's Spiderman pajamas. So thankful to the sweet family that took pity on us and offered them up!
At this point I decided that we had enough and I called Kyle and told him it was time to head back to Houston. I think he must have sensed the panic in my voice because he was back to the tailgate faster than humanly possible.
Cooper loved it and we'll definitely take him again...when he's 12!
|Post-game. Kitchen floor.|