MOM! YOU'RE EMBARRASSING ME!

Cooper has never loved me coming up to his school. Every time I get there, he insists it's time to leave. We made it through all of 5 minutes of the Halloween party I volunteered to host last fall. When I brought donut holes up to his friends on his birthday, he ran and hid in the corner and then led me by the hand out the door. I alway assumed it was because it wasn't part of his beloved routine. Now, I know better...

Last week I volunteered for Cooper's school Valentine's party. I was tasked with reading the book at story time, among other things. Cooper carefully instructed me on my technique the night before.

C: "Mom, when you're reading the book you have to smile at the friends or they won't like you."

Mmmmkay, got it.

The next day everything seemed ok when I got to his school. I started to read the book to "the friends", remembering to look up every so often to smile. By the time I got to the second page, I realized I was doing something terribly wrong. Cooper was sitting in the circle, literally smacking himself in the head and saying "UGHHHHHHHHHHHH", really loudly. As I read, he continued to do this until his sweet friend leaned over and asked him what was wrong. He replied: "UGHHH, my Mom!" followed by the most dramatic forehead slap you've ever seen.

Yeah, didn't see that one coming. I asked him after the party how I did reading the book.

C: Bad.

Me: Why was it bad?

C: You didn't smile at the friends and you were EM-BARR-ASS-ING me.

Me: What does it mean when you say Mommy is embarrassing you?

C: It means that everything is kind of ruined.

Noted. Although I'm not sure whether to laugh or cry!