This is 30...

I may or may not have had a big birthday last weekend.  It was one of those that I was hoping would just slide by and it was pleasantly low key. I usually celebrate my birthday for weeks so this was very unlike me. However, turning 30 when you are 9 months pregnant just doesn't scream "Hey, look at me! I'm 30 and I've still got it!" Instead, what I've "still got" is heartburn, a big belly and indistinguishable ankles.  [Sigh.]

Anyway, here's the Coooper boy singing his version of Happy Birthday.  Not surprisingly his birthday shoutouts usually go to himself, or Grandpa...hence the prompting to sing to Mommy!

We'll celebrate next year when I turn 29 again!

Sounds like a [bleep]?!

I'm still rolling over something Cooper said last night after dinner.  The boy was doing all of these funny poses and kicking his legs up on the ottoman.  He starts talking to me about what he "sounds wike" which in Cooper language means "looks like".

Cooper: "Mama, I sound wike a b***h?"

Me: What?!

Cooper: "Dada, I sound wike a b***h?"

We don't have a clue what he's trying to ask us but like any good parents we are rolling on the floor with laughter.  Of course, this only encourages him to ask more since he sees how entertained we are.  Finally, he strikes this pose and I realize what he is asking us:

Translation: Mama, [do I look like] a [bridge]?  Yes, buddy, you look exactly like a bridge!!!

Yesterday I ended up going in for an ultrasound after my appointment and I got a sneak peak at baby girl Charles who we will HOPEFULLY meet in person in the next week or so.  The ultrasound tech started asking me if my son had hair and then showed me all of the hair on this girl's head.  WOW!  And so timely after my last post!  The black to the right of the screen is the back of her head and the white wisps in the middle is her hair.  Looks like we're setting up for some more epic baby hair!  Definitely bringing bows to the hospital!

The 'do...

As my due date approaches, I keep thinking about what Baby Girl Charles is going to look like!  I've been going through her big brother's baby pictures, racking my brain to remember exactly what he looked like brand new.  Kid looks NOTHING like his baby pictures and its only been 2.5 years.

Check out the 'do over time:

Newborn. Dark and straight.

6 months. Lighter, superman curl!

12 months, what? Curls?

13 months, first haircut...pissed!

18 months...blonde? frat curls?

2 years...goodbye blonde!

almost 2.5 years...hello curly headed ninny muggin!

If the old wives tale about heartburn is true, little miss won't have as much hair as her brother.  Or, she has been growing all of her hair in the last 5 days, yowza! I can only hope she can rock the many 'dos of her brother!!!

Thank God for cement mixers

Today, I am thankful for cement mixers.  And Nutella.  And, despite what I said the other day, the vacuum.  At almost 39 weeks pregnant, I am thankful for anything that will keep my two year old within shouting distance of the house!  

Kyle was out playing [what he doesn't know will be one of his last rounds of] golf [for awhile] this afternoon so Mama was the sole entertainer in the afternoon and until bedtime.  All I can say is that he is asleep now so does it really matter what happened in the meantime?!

Did I mention that I am also thankful for early bedtimes?!  Goodnight bloggy world, on to some junk TV while the hubs has no veto power!!!

The stream of consciousness

This is the kind of post that happens when you are so scattered counting down the days until baby #2 that you just can’t think straight! 

1. We go to this restaurant by the office occasionally for lunch and the message that gets printed off on the bottom of the receipt is hilarious.  Or, I just have a really dirty mind.  However, if the service was not good, at least the manager on duty should be pleasing me, not the other way around!!!  This has been there for years now; you would think someone would have caught on?!  What do you think, is this “The Ellen Show” worthy?

"And if the service was not good, please the manager on duty. Muchas Gracias!"

13b. So Cooper has gone through several stages in his life where he has been utterly obsessed with the vacuum.  We reentered one of these stages last week and I can’t tell you how weird and frustrating it is!  He literally wakes up asking where the vacuum is. He goes and gets it out of the closet and pushes it around the house, wrapping and unwrapping the cord and putting on and off the extensions.  The problem is that about every two minutes he’s yelling “Mama, help you?” trying to get me to come play vacuum with him or, even worse, it turns into a screaming fit when he cannot wrap the cord perfectly around the cord holder.  Type A, much?  To take it even further, he is scared to death of actually turning on the vacuum so he is constantly reminding me “Mama, if you get scared, hug Cooper” and “Don’t be scared it’s just a vacuum”!  This was pretty cute the first 20 times but there are so many hours on end that one can play with a vacuum.  I caught myself bribing him with the iPad yesterday just to take a break!

Post Vacuum Frustrations

81. One good thing about it being BOILING HOT outside is that Kyle’s garden is in full tomato and basil swing. (Why do my silver linings always point back to food?)  Even if you don’t have the greenest of thumbs, go grab this stuff while its fresh at the grocery store and whip up some bruschetta for a great app or chicken topper!

Bruschetta

2 medium tomatoes, chopped roughly

3 tablespoons basil, chopped (We use lemon basil.  If you don't have it, use regular with some lemon zest!)

1 garlic clove, minced

1 tablespoon olive oil

1 teaspoon balsamic

Salt and pepper to taste

Mix together and voila!  On toast or over chicken, I like to melt Manchego cheese over the top for a little extra bite!

Kyle's lessons on parenting...

DISCLAIMER: Before reading this post, you must know that Kyle is a WONDERFUL father who takes the afternoon shift with Cooper every day before I get home from work, is there with a hug in the middle of the night when the boy gets scared of the vacuum (yes…nightmares about vacuums) and is by far the cooler parent when it comes to eating dirt, jumping off things, making huge messes, etc. 

That said, some of his parenting techniques that seem a little suspect are actually very clever.  FYI, these are purely my observations!  Did I mention he’s a really good sport?!

Lesson 1: If at first you don’t succeed, (let them) cry, cry again.

There is going to come a point in time when your wife will request that you make an attempt to man the bedtime routine.  One suggestion, if you do this very poorly you will rarely have to do it again.  There is nothing worse for your wife at the end of a long day than to listen to you wrangle a crying baby for 30 minutes.  You should explain to her that it would just be easier on everybody if she completed this task.  If this doesn’t work, try bringing the baby out to her with both legs through one pajama leg hole and an exasperated look on your face.  Shouting things like "where is the thermometer" and "uh oh, that will leave a mark" are always helpful.

Lesson 2: The running list of chores completed.

This little gem is applicable for every kid task.  When your wife asks you to change a diaper, simply say "but I just mowed the lawn!"  It does not matter that mowing the lawn has nothing to do with changing a diaper or that she has changed 9 out of the last 10 poop diapers.  Be sure to have some back-ups including things she might not have noticed like "but I just changed the air filter" or "but I just hosed down the back porch".

Lesson 3: Diapers.com orders count as shopping.

Go ahead and turn her loose on internet shopping but make sure you keep tabs on what is being spent so you can keep up.  Yes, a $100 order of diapers, sippy cups, sunscreen and kid clothes at diapers.com DOES equate to a new pair of golf shoes for you.  Hey, be generous...you'll get paid back in return!

Lesson 4: A dip in the pool counts as a bath.

Especially if its a saltwater pool.  If your wife tries to argue, simply tell her that you will take over bath time for the evening.  Be sure that you keep this task on your running list of chores completed.  You worked hard for it.

Lesson 5: Ice cream fixes all.

Scraped knee?  Ice cream.  Broken kite?  Ice cream.  Upset tummy? Ice cream sandwich. This also works on your wife too.  Especially if she's pregnant.

Happy Father's Day!

Nursery Freak-out

The one where I almost lost it while shopping for nursery decor...

On Saturday I decided to go by a couple of baby stores in town to pick up a few things for baby girl's walls and shelves. I had already seen a few things on Etsy I liked and since we have furniture and bedding I thought shopping would be a breeze. Boy, was I wrong.

I walked into the first store and was greeted by a super friendly but not so helpful employee.

Employee: When are you due?

Me: 3 weeks

E: That's really soon. Do you have a theme?

Me: No. I'm not really a theme kind of person. I just want to look around and see what I like. The colors in the nursery are mint, coral and light blue.

[Awkward silence...]

Me: I'll let you know if I see something. (FYI, I have nothing against themed rooms, I just personally prefer something subtle!)

(Confused, she leaves me alone for 2 minutes...)

E: What about princesses?! There are a lot of princesses, crowns and "Daddy is my Prince Charming" signs!

Me: Sorry, but no. I'm just going to look around a bit. (I continue to browse, acutely aware of my new friend and her piercing eyes focused on the back of my head.)

E: What about a tea party room? We have lots of prints of animals having a tea party!

Me: ...

E: Well, let me know if you see anything. (A little too cheerily.)

Me: What about these wooden monograms? Do they come is a larger size? A different font? Different colors?

E: Oh, I'm not sure about those. Let me see if I can find someone to help you.

?!?!?! I continue to waddle around, waiting for her to find someone to "help" me. Lady, I feel as large as a house, my thighs are touching, its hot and the only thing you are good at is following me around and making me feel twitchy about not having my nursery decorated like a Disney theme park! When she returns, she tells me they only come in one size, one font and only white.

E: Did you want to go ahead and order?

Me: I'm leaving.

I proceeded to visit two more stores. Same story, second and third verse! NO I DON'T HAVE A THEME! YES, I REALIZE MY DUE DATE IS REALLY SOON! NO, I AM NOT INTERESTED IN YOUR COLLECTION OF FROGS WEARING TUTUS!

Thank goodness for Etsy. I ordered a few French ballerina prints and picked up a few mirrors for over the bed. Crisis averted...for now!

Man Meat and other Cooperisms

I was chatting with my Mom this morning and was telling her about funny things that Cooper has been saying lately.  More like funny ways of saying things or funny names he calls things.  Here are some of my favorites of the moment.  They are just too cute to correct!

• Man Meat - A couple of months ago Kyle cooked pork chops on the grill.  Cooper had already eaten but walked over to my plate, picked the chop up by the bone and proceeded to gnaw away like a caveman!  I said to Kyle, "This kid loves manly meat!"  Thus "Man Meat" was born and he requests it with every meal.  Good thing any meat that is not chicken or turkey qualifies as  "Man Meat"!  (brisket, meatballs, hamburger, fajitas...)  Here's a video of his request from last weekend.  (I started to title it "Man Meat" but thought twice about the traffic I would be getting!)

• The Baggin' Wolf - You know, like the guy that blows the three little pigs' house down?!  I have no idea where this one came from but he's always asking us what the "Baggin' Wolf" says and requesting Kyle build a pig house for the "Baggin' Wolf" to blow down!

• Woo Hoop - A hula hoop!  What does the hula hoop say?  "WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

• E-Meals - Pronounced "ehh - meals".  Clearly these are M&M's!  I can get him to do just about anything for an e-meal.  And, he will do just about anything to get to them including climb shelves and lie about the chocolate smeared across his face!

• Going to get bad! - I may have mentioned this before but its too funny.  Instead of saying "you're going to get in trouble" he says "you're going to get bad"!  Every time we read that dang Olivia book he tells me she's "going to get bad and go to time out"!  

• "Sound wike a ___" - So we haven't quite mastered the difference between "sounds like" and "looks like" so everything is "sounds like"...except he can't say like!  The other morning, he was making me a pretend hot dog on his grill for breakfast.  (Not going to lie, in my state it sounded pretty good!) When he was done he asked me: "Mama, I sound wike a Daddy? I sound wike a Daddy cookin' on the grill"?  Too precious.

Here's the boy and one of his much loved selfies! 

Kidnapped

I am not one to be easily surprised. I’m a bit on the sneaky side, and I say sneaky because nosy and scheming sound too harsh when I say them out loud. But, this weekend I was totally blown away with my college girlfriends and their trickery! I shouldn’t be that surprised, they’re all pretty sneaky too!  We used to call each other “SB’s” in college…I’ll leave the interpretation to your imagination.

I had plans with my friend Jill to take our kids to the zoo on Saturday. I texted her Friday night to firm up plans only to find out she wanted to meet up way later than discussed. If you know me, you know my love of scheduling and planning…strike one, zoo plans!  The next morning, I woke up to see a picture of my friend Chelsea on Instagram, after dashing through the airport to catch a flight. I didn’t think anything of it.  After all, she had just called me the night before to see what my weekend plans were. SB.

The next morning, Jill was “running late”. Strike two zoo plans! I was trying to be cool about it and my father in law says I was pretty nice, but on the inside I was recalculating lunch and nap plans and trying to figure out where we could go to make the kids happy…frantic!

I was out in the front yard when who do I see sneaking up the driveway?  Chelsea!  In from Grapevine! Jill and Chelsea caught my reaction on video...complete SHOCK! (Video here if not shown below.)

It took me a long while to calm down and realize this was really happening! Erin met us at my house and I was then treated to lunch at one of my favorite spots followed by a complete afternoon at the spa and a mini-baby shower.  I couldn't have dreamed it up any better. I have to say, I have never felt so loved and special and lucky. I couldn't believe they were doing all of this...for ME! Catch the other side of the story on Chelsea's blog!

Melts my heart... Plus they are twins!

I have known these girls since the day we stepped foot in the Kappa house almost 12 years ago, eek!  There are seven of us in total, and although not everyone was together this weekend, we were all there in spirit. These are the kind of friends you can call at 2am, no questions asked. Or, the kind of friends you may not talk to for two months when life gets in the way and then be able to pick up right were you left off. These ladies have been with me through it all from wild college nights, bad break-ups, graduation, first job, wedding, and now motherhood. It's a rare and special thing to be this connected to the same girls you had your first college beer with! Here's a little trip down memory lane, if you will...