A letter to my daughter: My decision to become a stay-at-home mom

Dearest Carrington,

We are about to enter a new stage of life together! My time as a working mom has come to an end and I want to tell you all about it, sweet girl. It's not that I don't want your brother to read this one day, I do. I am writing specifically to you because one day you may be standing in these very shoes and [hopefully] you'll like to hear a nugget of hard earned wisdom from your dear ol' mom.

First, a little about my job… I love my job. I think I'm good at my job. I feel challenged and rewarded and fulfilled and all of those warm-fuzzy HR words that you're supposed to feel. I went through a couple of jobs before I found what I really enjoyed doing, but I am grateful to say that I did find it. I am telling you this because if I didn't feel these things, I would have never gone back to work after your brother was born. I will never regret that for a time I chose to be a working mom.

However, as cliche as it may sound, I have always struggled with the feeling that I was never going to be able to give 100% to my job and I was never going to be able to give 100% to you. If you're reading this as an adult, you probably know enough about me by now that you know that not giving 100% doesn't sit well with me. I'd like to think that perhaps I've lightened up with age but I'm guessing not!

I know a lot of moms who do the working mom thing beautifully. I'd like to think that I did too, for a time. Sometimes I felt like I was a better mom because I worked. While I didn't have as much time with you during the day, I really tried to make every single moment that I had with you count. If you don't believe me, just ask my friends that I haven't seen too much of over the last 3 years!

However, at the end of the day, you win. We win. I "Leaned In" and I tried but I just could never drown the notion that you and your brother were getting bigger by the minute and I was missing it. No matter how well I do in my career or how much money I make, I can never buy this time back with you. I can't tell you how fortunate I feel that this is a choice that I get to make.

At this moment, I can't say with certainty that this is a forever choice for me. Maybe one day I'll wander back into the working world, or at least dip a toe in the water. But right now I feel very, VERY excited to give this a shot and to be there with you everyday to watch you grow and learn and play and just be little.

My hope for you is that one day you are in this exact same spot with a job that makes you happy and children so precious that you can't stand to be away from them. If you get here, I know that you will make the right choice for you and your family because really there isn't a wrong choice. This is truly a high class problem to have and I hope that you recognize that just like I do.


Here's to us.


All my love,

Mom

How can I resist that face?!

Second Kid Probs

My friend Chelsea and I are constantly going back and forth on what we call #secondkidprobs. Mainly, these are things that we do with our second kids that would make our first kid selves cringe.

I started to make a list of my #secondkidprobs and wish I could go back in time to and show my one-kid self this list, just for grins. But, then again, I would probably not be grinning for too long…let’s just say that baby Cooper’s mom would not approve!

So here’s my list. I hope all of you 2^nd and 3^rd time Mommies can relate and I hope that all of your first time Mommies don’t judge me (too hard)!

•  I made 100% of my firstborn’s baby food. I made maybe 5% of my second’s. In fact, I’m pushing her to solid food as fast as I can so I can just make the same meal for both of them. At nine months, she’s pretty dang close. She may or may not have had a bite of her brother’s hamburger patty the other day.
• On that note…I let my second kid eat a Cheeto at 9 months. To be fair, it was a “natural Cheeto”, whatever that means, so I should get some credit for that. Also to be fair, it was me that was eating said cheeto, she simply plucked it from my hand. I didn’t stop her. I also didn’t stop her from having another!
•  I let my second kid get in our bed. I NEVER let my first in bed with us. EVER. PERIOD. Now, Sister gets in bed with us every morning! She wakes up usually between 5:30 and 6am. I figured out that if I lay her right next to me after I feed her that she will drift back to sleep for another hour. I quickly traded my fear of having a 10 year old in my bed for that extra bit of sleep. Praying I’m not short-sighted on this!
• There are about 50 pictures of my first around my house. There is one (1!!!) picture of my second. I have pictures of her, I just can’t seem to ever find time to hang/frame!
• Bedtime is more of an ideal than a rule. As a baby, my first never saw the light of day past 7:15pm ON. THE. DOT. We avoided going to parties and dinners that would keep him out past his bedtime. While most nights with Sister are the same, she definitely gets toted around way more. As long as she’s still smiling, right?!
• If I have to leave the room, I make sure the dog is in there with her. You know, to alert me to any problems and also to provide entertainment! Genius right here. I used to drag my first to the bathroom with me. Never again, if I can help it!
• Sometimes baths consist of a good ol' wipe down with a baby wipe. Big brother definitely was in the tub every night but, if wipes are good enough for the tush they're good enough for the body, right?!

What other #secondkidprobs are out there? Would love to hear from you!

My smiley second kid!

If you missed the video on Instagram this week, here's the full version of Sister laughing at Cooper. That's the other thing about second kids…they think everything their siblings do is hilarious!

The Dancing Jacket

Do your kids ever wake you up because they’re having a nightmare? 

About once a week Cooper will wake us up because he’s having a bad dream. Most are pretty normal: monsters, being chased or someone taking his food away. Side note, will someone please tell me why we introduce the concept of monsters to our kids?! As if preschool and broccoli weren’t scary enough! Seriously. 

Anyway… 

You know how you hear about moms being able to decipher their babies’ different cries? Well, Cooper’s nightmares have a cry all of their own. They’re not quite horror flick worthy but they’ll definitely get you out of bed in a hurry! 

Recently, we woke up to “MOM! DAD! (Sobbing.) It’s the dancing jacket! It waves its arms around like wooooo wooooo!” as he frantically flailed his arms. 

Now, it’s very confusing time after you’ve effectively been sprung from your bed and bolted down the hallway in about 0.5 seconds so at first you just go with it and try to quell the fear. “Mommy would NEVER let a dancing jacket get you! Dancing jackets are nice! I love dancing jackets!” 

It wasn’t until the next morning when I spied the culprit:

The green jacket that was so effortlessly flung atop the art easel has become the subject of many a nightmare. Of all things! 

And, since the dancing jacket has become a part of our lives, we’ve been able to capture little gems like this:

 Thank God for the things that make things funny after the fact!

Recap time!

Man! It's been a busy few weeks around here. Hoping a picture really does say 1,000 words and you enjoy the recap…in pictures!

Kyle went out of town, so Kona got a bow!

Cooper went fishing in the street. True angler.

Sister perfected her selfie!

Spring is here! My azaleas are in bloom!

We went to the Houston Rodeo!

That's a happy boy!

Cowboy Cooper!

Farm to table?

Loved the slide!

You know the ghetto cowboy hat had to make an appearance!

 Sister is still cute.

Hi!

Happy with Coop's toys!

And, she dances!

I took both kids to the grocery store…

Then mowed the lawn!

Happy almost weekend!!!